What Is a “Good Mom?”
We hear moms say, “I want to be a good mom.” Heck, I say I want to be a good mom all the time. But what does it truly mean to be a “good mom?”
Let’s be honest, being a mom is not an easy gig, no matter the age of your children.
Inspired, I reached out to some of my favorite moms and mom groups to get their thoughts on what they think it means to be a “good mom.” Some of their answers might surprise and provide a sigh of relief.
Thoughts from Good Moms
As expected, many of the responses had similar sentiments. Therefore, the following answers are consolidated, reflecting 25 ways to be a good mom.
Please note that our list is in no particular order.
- Teach by example
- Accept your child’s true self
- Support your children in what makes them happy adults
- Offer guidance, but let them make their own choice
- Let them know you will always love them
- Show patience with your children, so they learn to be patient
- Create a judgment-free relationship so they know they can always come to you
- Adjust your parenting as your children enter new stages of their life
- Avoid making your fears, their fears
- Allow them to fail, to help them succeed
- Forgive your children when they make mistakes
- Advocate for your child
- Believe in your child
- Establish that your child is in control of their own body
- Laugh and have fun
- Cry in front of your children (especially boys)
- Validate their feelings
- Express how you are feeling
- Respect their personal space
- Try to be consistent
- Treat mental health with the same importance as physical health
- Be their person even when they don’t realize it
- Foster independence
- Make family time
- Say and enforce no when needed
My Imperfect and Humble Thoughts on Being a Good Mom
If you care about being a good mom, the chances are that you are a good mom.
As we all know, it is easy for us to self-inflict mom guilt or feels like we have not done enough. In addition, other people’s mommy shaming can put you over the edge!
It is easy for those of us part of any social media mom group to find many moms sharing their struggles. As moms, it is common to feel exhausted, depressed, and overwhelmed.
Unknowingly, we place our needs last and create a cycle that pushes our care further away.
Yes, some moms may choose to forgo self-care. Although the reasons vary, many moms view prioritizing their own needs as selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. Self-care is needed to be the best mom you can be.
In reality, it is critical to place your own needs as a priority. Until we take care of ourselves, we cannot give our best.
Wait! Have you listened to Mom Self-Care Is Not Selfish?
Keep It Simple
In our home, the structure is relatively simple. We work on teaching our children three things to serve as a guide to their choices and our own:
Our guidelines may be up for interpretation. However, if you reread the insightful 25 suggestions above, each falls into at least one category. Also, note that many moms feel children need to learn from example. See where this is going?
If our parenting structure focuses on being happy, healthy, and respectful and the same guidelines apply to our children, it comes full circle. We are teaching by example.
Wouldn’t it be nice if parenting was that easy? It is not, but it does provide a simplistic start to more complex issues.
Plus, it gives me the parameters to not say no to something when there is no valid reason to say no.
For example, my kids told a babysitter they wanted to blow bubbles on a winter day. She told them no because we don’t blow bubbles in winter. But why? Is that a legitimate reason to say no? They asked to do something fun and non-conformist. It was not unsafe or disrespectful, and it was something fun.
Therefore, in my attempt to be a good mom, I told her it was okay for them to blow bubbles. Even better, they learn essential life skills to create their ideas and not conform.
The Most Important “Good Mom” Skill
Being a good mom does not mean being a perfect mom. We are all imperfect, and we all make mistakes.
Not one mom commented that being a good mom means being a perfect mom.
How we embrace our imperfections and struggles is one of the essential parts of being a good mom.
As much as we can talk to our children about owning their behavior, the best way they will learn is by us owning our behavior.
If and when you make a mistake with your child, own it. Like you teach them, ask if there is anything you can do to make it better. Primarily, you are providing a valuable lesson in forgiveness.
Are you able to relate to any of the 25 ways to be a good mom? Comment below and share your thoughts.