Mom Self-Care Is Important
Why is mom self-care important? Let’s get to it!
Mom Self-care is:
- Needed by everyone but especially by moms
- Not a luxury
- Not selfish but it is selfless
- Showing yourself love
- Giving yourself respect
- Allowing us to give our best to others
- Providing ourselves with a physical and emotional break
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Mom Self-Care Is a Need
As moms, we need to nurture and care for ourselves in the same way that we do others. How each of us defines self-care is different but what defines your mom self-care is what makes you feel better about yourself.
Sadly, it seems as if the neglect of mom self-care becomes a terrible cycle.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you don’t feel good about yourself.
When you don’t feel good about yourself, your confidence diminishes. The lack of confidence can make us feel unfilled and unhappy. Hence, it is hard to break the habit.
Moms, why do we not practice self-care regularly? Do we feel we are not worthy of self-care? Is it the guilt for spending money? Is it the feeling of taking time away from your family or the feeling of slacking on home responsibilities?
I don’t know how we get into this cycle, but let me say it again. Mom self-care is a necessity.
Supporting Your Partner To Practice Self-Care
In a loving way, my husband James, encourages me to practice mom self-care all the time. He does everything to make it available to me.
Although it is hard for me to admit, I felt I wasn’t worthy of self-care because I was no longer bringing in an income. My husband completely does not subscribe to this way of thinking and he started giving me a gift certificate to see my hairstylist because he knew that once the money was spent, of course, I’m going to do it. I’m not going to waste the money.
When Your Partner Needs Encouragement
My husband, as much as he encourages me, does not take self-care the way he needs. Hence, I had to become clever to encourage his self-care by setting up “man-dates” with friends because he won’t be able to back out. He knows if I take the time and the effort, he’s going to have to do it.
From my husband’s perspective, it is not necessarily financial. Rather, his concerns are that he’s not taking care of other responsibilities at home, he’s not spending time with the kids and he’s not giving me a break that he knows I need and deserve.
After his first “man-date”, he came home feeling very grateful. He said thank you. He’s said he felt re-energized. He had fun and felt emotionally and physically better. His guilt subsided because I set it up.
Clearly, we both know that we need self-care. Our self-care doesn’t need to be things that we do together but we both know we need it. However, I don’t know why we still have some of that hesitation.
Looking In Through Outside Eyes
We decided we needed outside eyes to help capture our family. A. Drouin Photography did an amazing job capturing our family. Looking at our pictures helps as a reminder that we are happy and know we do each enjoy each other. It was a great eye-opening experience, not just necessarily getting the photos taken, but the reflection back.
Seeing pictures from someone else’s eyes helped relieve some guilt for taking time for me, embracing self-care, because the time we spend together (mostly) is special. Luckily, I was able to finally see that caring for myself does not harm my family. It makes me a better mom, wife, and human. Taking the time away creates more of an appreciation. It helps us recharge.
If my husband takes the time to hang out with a friend to go fishing, ride side by side, or have dinner and a beer, our happiness is still there.
Finally, I realize it’s okay for me to go to the hairstylist, splurge on my skincare, or have dinner with friends. It helps me claim my identity beyond stay-at-home-mom and wife.
Learning From Others
When Jackson was born, it was very hard for me to return to yoga. However, when I did it was great!
For me, it was helpful physically and mentally. Later I realized, it was good for Jackson to be separated from me and have bonding time with his dad. It was an obvious sign, that although Jackson was less than a year old, my practicing mom self-care was a benefit for him as well.
In my first podcast interview of Mom Treading Water, I spoke with Sarah McLaughlin, author of ***Raising Humans With Heart. The second chapter of her book, “The Most Important Relationship You Have Is With Yourself”, says it all.
When Sarah is telling us, it’s important to take care of yourself, you need to take care of yourself to be the best parent you can be, then it is time to listen. And she’s right!
During episode 22, The Inspirational Journey of Author Michelle Kuei, Michelle stated, “I am love.” And she’s right. We are all love.
There are many ways we can show that we love ourselves but one way is through self-care.
***Check out her book, Perfectly Normal to learn more about her inspirational journey.
Mom Self-Care Is Loving Yourself
To understand the everyday life of my fellow moms, I’m in quite a few mom groups on Facebook.
Consistently, I see posts from moms saying they are ready to lose it, I need five minutes by myself, I want to go to the bathroom without being interrupted, I need a break or I’m tired.
Hopefully, we can all agree that they all deserve and need their mom self-care. Like all of us, they need a break and must care for themselves.
Teaching Our Children Self-Care
During an epiphany, I realized that if I do not take care of myself, it is a disservice to my children.
The obvious reason is that I feel better about myself. More importantly, it is my responsibility to teach my children about the importance of self-care. If I don’t show my children that I place self-care as an absolute necessity, then they will struggle to view self-care as a necessity.
I tell my kids all the time, who is the most important person you should love? And they know the answer is themselves. They need to love themselves first.
Instead of me constantly saying, you should love yourself first, I need to SHOW that I love myself first. I’m worthy. I deserve self-care. I deserve that love that Michelle so profoundly stated.
Self-care is not greedy, self-centered, egotistical, or narcissistic.
Self-care is love. It’s showing yourself, love.
It’s showing yourself respect, consideration, and kindness.
Please, take a moment today and practice a little mom self-care. You are worthy and deserve it.
***With no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission from any affiliate links. Please note, I only endorse products that I believe will be a benefit. Thank you for supporting Mom Treading Water. ***