42 Years Old as a First-time Mom?!
Before becoming a first-time mom at 42 years old, I had 3 goals I needed to achieve. Some might view my desire to achieve my goals as selfish but I feel secure in my choices.
Without question, as a first-time mom at 42 years old, I was confident.
Although I was confident, there is no doubt I am not perfect.
Read about my learning experience, How to Learn From One of My Worst Parenting Failures.
My Life Goals Toward Confidence
Before becoming a 42-year-old first-time mom, I knew 3 life goals would add to my confidence.
- Follow my path as a single person
- Nurture my relationship as a married person
- Become financial secure
Why Wait Until 42 Years Old To Be a First-time Mom?
This is only my personal experience of becoming a first-time mom at 42 years old.
We all need to do what is best for us and our families. Without judgment, we need to accept and welcome all into our community.
There is no denying, by cultural and biological standards, 42 years old is old to become a first-time mom.
As reported by Forbes Magazine the average age of first-time mothers is currently 26 years old and fathers 31 years old.
When You Don’t Look Like a 42 Year Old First-time Mom
I consider myself very fortunate that I don’t always look my age.
With that said, sometimes I see the disbelief on their faces when they discover I became a first-time mom at 42 years old. To clarify, it is not judgment but rather shock. (I’ve chosen to take this as a compliment.) There are even some children in my daughter’s class where I could technically be their grandmother!
Before our son was born, people would make comments saying they cannot believe women become first-time moms at 35 years old or 40 years old.
At first, it would bother me to hear those comments and make me second-guess my past choices.
With a husband who is my support system and best friend, he reminded me their opinions do not matter. They do not know our life and they do not know our family. More than likely, their comments did not come from hatred but misunderstanding.
Undoubtedly, I would not have it any other way.
Here are the reasons why becoming a mom at 42 years old was the perfect decision for me.
Confident and Methodical at 42 Years Old
Confidently, at 42 years old I was ready to be a mom.
Many of us become parents because life tells us it is our time. Each of us has our own unique journey and we are blessed for the opportunity.
Our intent to become parents was methodical and very thought out. Completely by choice, adoption was the perfect way to start our family.
There are multiple reasons why we chose adoption to start our family.
Yes, my age and having type 1 diabetes for over 20 years did play a factor.
My husband has a congenital heart defect and had an aortic valve replacement a year before we were married. We knew it was possible to pass it on to any biological children.
Neither one of us felt comfortable having biological children. Instinctually, it did not feel like the correct path for us to start our family.
Like most couples, we did have pregnancy scares. It might come as a shock, but we were relieved we never became pregnant.
However, the main reason we chose adoption is simple.
In our hearts, we knew we could meet the need for adoption. Please note, adoption is not for everyone and every family needs to do what is best for them.
Even before my diagnosis of type 1 diabetes, I instinctually knew adoption was going to be part of my life. It always felt like the right choice for me and when my husband felt the same way, it only made sense.
On a side note, when my parents visited Lebanon to research my father’s family, they discovered a great-uncle started an orphanage.
It was another sign showing us adoption was destined for our family.
According to People Magazine, the following celebrities became first-time moms after 45 years old.
- Janet Jackson
- Sandra Bullock
- Laura Linney
- Sheryl Crow
- Angela Bassett
- Tamron Hall
- Diane Keaton
- Marcia Cross
- Chloë Sevigny
Single and Unsure of Myself
Being single, I had no obligations to anyone else. Hence, it allowed me to live in multiple states and different cultures plus focus on personal growth.
During this time, I completed my undergraduate and master’s degree. I was able to have two different careers without worrying about the impact it would have on all my family.
Married in My 30s
My husband and I were married when I was in my late 30s. Absolutely, he was worth the wait, and I would not change it for the world.
We had a few years with the two were able to get to know each other as husband and wife. When we started our family, we were secure in our marriage and becoming parents.
As many of us know, having children has the possibility of adding new stress to a marriage. We were able to make that transition fairly easy.
Those few years between marriage and children, allowed us to become financially stable.
Feeling financially stable, removed the pressure of starting our family as well as navigating through the adoption process.
It is not a myth that adoption can be costly. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, domestic adoption through an agency normally ranges from $20,000 to $45,000.
Perfect Planning to be a 42 Year Old First-time Mom
The greatest parts of my life are my husband and children.
Waiting until I was 42 years old to become a first-time mom, gave me the family that was meant for me.
Had I not lived my experiences as a single person, nurture my relationship with my husband, or feel financially secure this first time Mom at 42 years old, would possibly be living with regrets.
All of our needs are different. In achieving our goals and dreams, we all take paths that are meant for us.
Let’s do our best to support first-time moms, no matter the age, without judgment.